Pracitcal Atheism in Prayer

It has come to my attention (and not by any sort of accident or coincidence) that most days I live my life as a practical atheist. I do believe in God, believe that He exists, and that He is very personal, and not just out there somewhere. But they way I live my life, day in and day out, would seem to suggest otherwise. I am talking here about the area of deep, true communion with God, aka prayer. Prayer is an area of my life that I have struggled with for many years. I am not saying that I do not pray at all, but I know that oftentimes my prayers are "short and sweet", and afterwards I have not felt like I had true fellowship and communion with the Lord; and sometimes I feel like the prayers I have offered to God are just bouncing off the ceiling and God is not hearing me. There are also times when I pray with a lingering doubt in my mind that God can or will do what I am asking. This is where the practical atheism comes in. Is my prayer life a true reflection of what I believe about God, whether or not He really is there and is hearing me and is going to answer according to His good pleasure?I desire with all my heart to fellowship with God daily, to know His presence, and to know the help of the Spirit in prayer.



So, what can I do about this? Ironically, the first thing that comes to my mind is, "Pray for help!!" This may seem to be a bit humorous, but I think it's a good place to start. I know that I can't even begin to pray without the help of God's Spirit. So I must say, "Holy Spirit, help me to pray..." and then pray. And I can do this, because I am God's child. He has in His Word bid me to seek His face. He hears the prayer of the upright in heart. Those who have clean hands and a pure heart may approach God in prayer any time, any place, for whatever reason. And how can I, who am a sinner, have clean hands and a pure heart? The answer is very simple--the blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. "Seeing then that we have a great High Priest, who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16) God is real, He does hear my prayers, and He will give me grace to commune with Him and help in time of need. He will draw near to me, if I humble myself and draw near to him. And it's all because of Jesus. Praise God for Him!